Earlier this week I sent out an affirmation to my subscribers about choosing to be happy. I brought up the scripture Acts 26:2 where Paul thought himself happy.
You see, I've spent so many years of my life unhappy. I didn't know that I could be like Paul and just "think" myself happy. I thought hurt and pain was just a part of life, and I thought it would always be a part of my life.
I was only 10 years old when I started dealing with depression. I know sad right? I was very quiet and had kept the secret of molestation hidden in me for quite some time now. People didn't understand me and I didn't know how to get them to understand me because I was afraid to tell anyone about what was going on.
Fast-forward to my late teens/early 20's trying to find happiness through relationships with guys. I just wanted to be loved, and I thought that love came from a man. I thought life would be so much better for me if I would just find the man of my dreams and we'd fall in love and get married.
But those guys just left me heartbroken and drowning in my tears. But yet, I would move on to the next trying to find the same thing in him (love). After my last major heartbreak, I told God that I was done dating for awhile and that the next man that I was serious about would be my husband, and that is exactly what happened, the next guy became my husband.
But after I said, "I do," there wasn't this feeling of completeness, I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be now that I was a bride. I wish I could say that I was, but I wasn't. I was unhappy and thought that getting married was a mistake.
I was still dealing with hurt and pain from my childhood and never really completely healed from those issues. And dealing with guys who would tell me that they love me only to leave me for the next woman that came into their lives.
So I thought that's what would happen to my marriage. I thought if he’s going to hurt me regardless then let me walk out on him before he walks out on me.
After many arguments and walkouts that first year and a half of marriage, I decided to get it together. We were at a really great church. I heard teachings of the word like I never heard before. I remember one day hearing my First Lady say "Your response is your responsibility." I thought wow that's pretty deep.
Many times you can blame your past for why you are the way you are, not realizing that your response can change things (whether good or bad). I didn't have to be unhappy. I could change my situation by simply how I responded to it.
I wanted to be happy. I just didn't know how to because I spent so many years being hurt by people, to the point that I just thought it was a part of life. I didn't know life without pain.
My church has been a huge part of my growth. I thank God that we are at our set place. I have discovered so much about myself, and I have discovered who I am in Christ.
Happiness comes from knowing who you are in Christ. Happiness comes from fulfilling your purpose, the purpose that God has given you. I can truly say that I Am Happy, and I don't rely on my husband to make me happy. I am like Paul, "I think myself happy". I spent too many years sad and miserable, and I'm finally enjoying a life of happiness. My life is blessed, and I thank God for where I am in my life.
I'm not saying things are always great and that I don't have 'not so good days.' But like my Pastor says "The good days far outweigh the bad ones."
So no matter what you have faced in life or are facing right now in life, know that happiness is a choice. You don't have to live life unhappy. Not when Christ is in you. Remember John 10:10 Jesus said, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
Satan is the one who causes depression. He's the one that causes people to be unhappy with their lives. But that is not the will of God for us. God wants us happy. He wants us enjoying our lives and for it to be full of happiness. He wants us to have that abundant kind of life.
Be Blessed, Stay Affirmed and Enjoy your Week.
Choose to Be Happy
How will you Affirm yourself this week? Comment below.