Gracefully Broken

Over the past decade, I have been through my share of heartbreaks and disappointments. From dating guys that took me for granted, to letting go of toxic friendships. It's safe to say that the road has not been easy. At the age of 19, I experienced my first abusive relationship. This was by far one of the lowest points of my life, and out of fear and shame, I kept it a secret. After the abuse, I struggled for years with self-esteem issues and knowing my self-worth.  No one ever told me it was okay to be broken. No one told me that sometimes crying is the best way to cleanse the soul. It took me some time, But I finally started to see the beauty in my brokenness. Two years ago, God placed Girls with Bibles on my heart. At that point in my life, I was dealing with a lot with my child's father, so naturally, I brushed it off. I didn't truly believe that God could use someone like me. I mean, come on God. Me? Of all people? Then six months later I began to question my purpose, so I went before the Lord in prayer. Again He said to me, "I want you to start a woman's organization called Girls with Bibles. I want you to share your story on overcoming domestic violence." At that moment, I realized just because I had been broken doesn't mean I was unusable.  Through my pain, I began a relationship with Jesus that changed my life forever. In the moments when I felt unworthy and useless, God was still working. The more time I spent at Gods feet, the less I wanted to rush the process of not feeling the pain. Instead, I learned to simply rely on Him for strength and take it one day at a time. The key to experiencing spiritual brokenness is to allow yourself to be in the moment and always walk in your truth. One of my biggest fears was my testimony. I was afraid of judgment and being called stupid for staying so long. God never said the journey would be easy, but it will always be worth it. Walking in our brokenness has this amazing way of waking up purpose in our lives if we allow it. There's a certain strength, beauty, and grace that comes from knowing that God still wants to use your story for His glory. But the catch is, you must be willing to wear your scares publicly.  He never intended for your healing to be invisible. Everything we face in life whether good or bad has a purpose.  Through His Grace, He is able to fit the broken pieces that no longer seem to fit into a perfect mosaic. A perfect design that only he can create.    So if you're reading this post today, know that whatever you're going through is not by mistake. Brokenness is a gift and when we walk in our truths, our stories bring healing. God wants to birth purpose from your pain.

XOXO, 

Ruth

About the author 

I am the second of eight children. I was born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, but moved to America when I was four. I started my journey with Jesus at the age of 18 and haven't looked back since! I am currently a Sergeant In the US Army Reserve and have served 10 years. I am Senior at Georgia State University majoring in Sociology. I am the founder of Girls with Bibles. An Organization dedicated to uplifting, encouraging, and leading women to the heart of Christ and their self WORTH. Last month we started out very first monthly Bibles and Brunch meet up and it was a great success. For more information on the next Bibles and Brunch be sure to follow @girlswbibles today!

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